To Tell... or Not

At no point this week did I have to even think the phrase "Don't hit your brother over the head with your panties- it's rude." Much less actually utter the words aloud.

I would never complain because my children woke me up on Valentines Day at 5:45 AM to serve me breakfast in bed. I like getting up earlier than my 6 month old. It's fun. Especially on Saturday. Plus, bacon topped heart shaped waffles are yummy.

I couldn't possibly have gotten extremely irritated with the cute little old man driving in front of me very slowly. I was raised to respect my elders. Plus, driving 25 miles an hour when you're late is totally therapeutic.

I most certainly didn't withhold my children's Valentine's Day candy from them until they cleaned their rooms. My love and my chocolates are always unconditional.

I wouldn't dream of cursing the name of my "friend"and three generations of her family when she wants to increase our morning walks to an hour in length. I love walking briskly and aimlessly in circles pushing a stroller that's holding a screaming child who only wants to sleep in her bed. Also, I have nothing else to do but blog, so it's all good.

I would always rather have lunch with my husband than take a nap. Always. I mean really, sleeping is overrated. Plus, I need to make sure I undo any good that might ever come from that pesky hour long walk.

Pancake Gurl is a completely fictitious character. I would never allow a child to behave in such an ill mannered fashion. I am a competent mother and I handle every situation with great skill and ease. Watch and learn, my friends.

When my sweet little man asked for his 4,697th snack 30 minutes before dinner; I not only gave it to him, but I didn't even yell at him or threaten to ground him FOREVER if he ever again mentioned either the word "snack" or the phrase "But I'm starving real bad!" in my presence. Mothers with great skill (like me, for instance) always know how to handle every situation in a positive manner; the results are happy kids and happy Moms.

As always, after you read this -please don't be a hater. I happen to be just a little bit cooler than most people. Try not to get discouraged when you gaze upon my greatness. I'm sure you're very talented in your own special way.
Like I've said before- you too can be this awesome-it's all within your power.

You just gotta want it bad enough.