As you know, I have a magic snowball that lets me look in on children to see if they've been naughty or nice.
I've always enjoyed watching you, because you have always been such good and well behaved children.
But this year, there must be something wrong with my snowball. Last week, it showed Drama Tween pulling Dash's ears, and Pancake Gurl putting Ex-Lax in Daddy's eggnog. Princess Faintsalot wouldn't even sit on my lap when I came to visit. And Dash, well, let's just say that if he doesn't slow down, some body's gonna get hurt. Bad.
I'm having the Winter Warlock check out my snowball's magic tonight. Then I'll be sure it works right. Then, I'll use it to watch you closely for the next few days. I'm sure it will show the good children I've seen all these years.
Won't it?
Love,
Santa
Dear Santa,
I'm writing this letter to let you know that he totally deserved it. A lot of times. As for Pancake Gurl, well, I'm pretty sure she should be at the top of the naughty list. For a lot of reasons. Princess Faintsalot is really the only person in my house that I like. She's all cute and stuff. I mean really, my parents are totally lame. They serisously think that loading the dishwasher is like, gonna help me be a better person. Hello?! Like I need character, IDK whatever that is. Pretty sure I'm already cool though. Oh- BTW here's the picture of my little sisters and you- Anyone ever tell ya you're kinda creepy? Look- I've been stickin' up for ya when people talk about their "theories" about how you get everywhere so fast in one night with some seriously smelly deer- so you better just forget what you saw in your little "magical snowball", K?
CUL8R,
Drama Tween
BTW... It took like, 5 ba-ba's for her to get over you freaking her out so bad.
6 comments:
You really crack me up! I don't really comment on your blog because i don't know you personally, but we have several friendas in common. And a similar appreciation of music(my cure for the mental brakdown I had apon reaching 30? A trip to L.A with my sisters to see a Killers concert.)Your kids could totally be my kids. My 12 year old bears a striking resemblance to your drama tween. And my little Queenie could be your princess faintsalot(minus the fainting, thank heavens).I just lack your talent of these clever little ways you have to describe them. So if you don't mind I will just drop you a line every now and then to thank you for the laugh. and tell you that your blog could totally be my blog. If only I were a little cooler;)
Oh, look whos checking out the Queen Bees blog? Thats right, its me. This is a hilarious story and I will be checking out your blog from now on. See at work.
Just randomly found your post. Loved it still laughing. Your insane, and I do mean that in a nice way.
Keep em coming, I can't stop reading.
Gypsy
Your blog is wonderful. Haven't heard "Rock Lobster" in a long time. Such a great song.
this is seriously funny stuff. i'm a follower from now on. :)
this is seriously funny stuff. i'm a follower from now on. :)
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